Australia

From Uncyclopedia test II
(Redirected from Australian)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Awes trail yer is a biiiiiiig place. If you aren't careful, you could actually fall into a pothole.

Proof of Australia being a nanny state

File:131364579097.gif
Koala bashing is a popular sport in New Ze... erm, Australia.

Being a motorcyclist was recently looking at German Schubert Motorbike Helmets. These excellent helmets, European, and US approved are unobtainable in Australia because they have yet to receive ‘Australian Design Approval’. How big is the army of public servants in Australia approving items already approved by competent authorities, and more to the point how much does this ‘approval’ add to the cost of the item.

I suppose while we are rabbiting on about smoking, alchohol and gambling. Does anybody else really believe that this stupid signing in at clubs, whilst adding thousands and thousands of booklets and stubs to landfill, actually achieves any purpose. Or is just another Government Department justifying its existence. If Alcohol Licensing really wanted to justify their existence how about they take a walk down any main street at 3 am.

Can't quite see why people are getting themselves in a lather about the national broadband network. Would seem to be the catalyst for a paradigm shift in the way they do things. Just think all those offices in all those cities can only do one thing – exchange information. With decent broadband speeds we can all do that from our lounge room. Seems like it would fix the transport problems for a start.

News that, already, European Industrial Companies are sitting on about 10 Billion Euros of carbon credits, and that some major Australian Companies are making a nice little earner by doubling their purchase price of credits when onselling, is a salutory reminder to us all that the credits you give away to day to your solar installer could be worth double tomorrow and that the whole scheme is highly rortable.

It seems the good old ( stay in bed or you might get hurt ) occupational health and safety imbroglio has spawned a thriving industry of private contractors who obviously at great expense with vehicles, flashing lights, hundreds of road cones, slow down signs and other paraphernalia, demand that you start slowing on the highway about a kilometer before a lazy road verge lawnmower machine that is going about its work. In prior years, one sign something like ‘caution road works in progress’ was the norm and to the reasonable person appeared quite satisfactory.

The government hides things we all know it, all things cause global warming. How about our planet travelling through the cosmos? How much is caused by what’s on the outside of our atmosphere? What about the sun? Unknown radiation? The point is anything could be causing it and man’s contribution towards warming could be minimal.

Half of the population in the world is in Asia and I bet they will not be paying a carbon tax. China will not stop using coal and they cannot afford not to export the stuff to them. Considering that with 22 million people in Australia they intend changing the worlds habits what a joke. Maybe we should seriously look at their refugee problem when 93% of them being here for five years have not got a job.

National anthem

Beans
And brussels sprouts.
A hundred thousand peas.
And half a pint of potato juice.
Let us all put another crustacean on the barbecue

Things to see

See also