The Belly Button Article

Take a moment to observe your belly button.

You don't have to do it for long. Just glance at it.

Even if you're in public.

It doesn't matter. If people ask why you're doing it,

Just tell them you're doing what you're told.

They'll believe you.

Have you looked at it yet?

It's a circle, with some wrinkles in it.

The wrinkles converge to form some sort of symbol.

What does this symbol mean? Have you ever wondered?

Now for a bit of science.

When you were an embryo, you were connected to your mother with a tube.

The tube connected to you at your belly button.

It was how you got the juices of life.

On the day you were born, some doctor snipped it.

Yours was one of several dozen he had snipped that week.

Now you aren't connected to anybody.

BUT

YOU

Probably have noticed that your BELLY BUTTON

Is approximately the size of MONEY. Maybe a penny, maybe a quarter,

Depending on your age.

Why not stick a penny in there?

Your life is now supported by small bits of metal.

Not a tube that you are stuck on the end of.

Babies don't stay in the womb for free, you know.

They pay rent. And the rate is skyrocketing.

Some get foreclosed on.

We decided that, since everyone in my family is related to my great grandma,

We'd have a family reunion

INside her womb.

All twenty of us squeezed in there.

I'd never felt closer to my family.

I'd also never felt more

Nautious.

Perhaps the two go hand in hand.

If you pressed your belly button

To the belly button

Of somebody else in your family,

The effect would be like what happens when you put mirrors together.

An infinite string of reflected belly buttons, extending

Forever in one direction

Forever in the other direction.

An infinite string of wrinkly little coins.

That's right.

You've got a fortune in riches down there

Under your shirt.

It's a fortune beyond the wildest dreams of the wealthy.