Fingers
“They are..like...sooooo huge....and squiggly.....like...They can touch everything at once...but themselves.....”
Hands are what we in the scientifical community call a horribly poisonous breed of aliens.
Created by Pantsworth the 5th, these aliens have been known to harbor horrible diseases and male pattern baldness in weak individuals, they produce the enzyme Nailitiumusitis in those infected.
The infection usually takes place while the host is developing in the mothers womb, upon there the parasitic alien thing will crawl through the fetus's skin and develop these 'fingers', even pulling in nerve fibers so as to cause the host great pain if they are removed.
They are commonly known for enticing individuals into many acts against their nature, Such as typing out useless paragraphs of completely reliable information on website, or for force feeding their host soup and other such horrible items. Yes, that is where you pet ferret fluffy has gone...We are sorry (not).
These fingers are in fact, the root of all death.
Addiction
Studies have shown that if you have fingers for a long time you might have problems once they are surgically removed, we believe this to be a psychosomatic response to the fact that it makes it hard to type without them, however as well all know. thumbs are in fact NOT fingers and thus you can type with those.
Criticisms
Some people have claimed that these 'fingers' are nothing more than abnormal tumors growing forth from our magical outstretched palms. While only an utter idiot would believe this fact. Seriously......seriously.....