Quotes of wisdom

“ It is unwise to make love to chickens with bird flu. No, honestly, it is, I'm serious. Stop laughing!! ”

- A bird flu expert on on why we shouldn't make love to chickens with bird flu

“ I think that if I just stick them in a bit further, I can tickle my prostate with this pair of scissors. ”

- A gimp of the highest order on on prostate stimulation using sharp objects

“ Watch as I levitate using only my mind, my spirit, this platform under my feet, a large team of special effects experts, and love. ”

- David Blaine

“ I will only come out of hiding when mankind accepts my superiority. ”

- Kermit the Frog on on PCP

“ Shut up, tool! ”

- Mr T on on a spanner he found in the garage