Square

Mr. Square currently inhabits a quiet country residence in the village of You, where all is very upside-up and nothing happens to be triangular; this, of course, contradicts my earlier statement that cows are mostly purplish in hue, but I must say in my defence that I was dissecting corpses at the time and so it came to pass that the Countess, who once bathed in the rejuvenating blood of a million bright ambassadors of Prussia, which, incidentally but not coincidentally, was forged from the fires of Mount Gastrove, who was truly not a mountain, but often claimed to become one whenever Morgoth Bauglir's geographical knowledge was proved inaccurate by the advent of the wheel, an invention once called "catatonic" and "cat tonic" by Brahma, who soon insulted Confucius, resulting in the Crusades which some consider to be logical fallacies, but which are often referred to as simply recursive and not circular, but definitely not Mr. Square, who currently inhabits a quiet country residence in the village of You...