A Day In Song

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Wake up. Wake up. Ain't puttin' on no make up
It's a beautiful day today makes me wanna scream HOORAY!
Goin' to work in an hour
Gettin' in the shower
Get out
Leave house
I shout
Because my fender is scratched
And my tie doesn't match
How 'bout I throw it in the trash
TODAY!!
Short interlude
Get in car
Put in keys
Someone put the seat up now it's squishin' my knees!
Push it back
I'm wastin' time
I ain't gon' be late I'm not that kind-a guy!
Back up my car
And I don't remember
There's a car behind me
FENDER BENDER
I'm like "crap"
And I drive away
Then I know its a crappy day
A cop stops be and I am a-scared
My license is under the seat; I am unprepared!
My punishment; I am astounded
Is only that my car gets imPOUNDED!
So I have to walk to work
Passin' businessmen who look like they're jerks
And suddenly. My stomach is rumblin
Try to get by it but it's still a-grumblin
Though this sudden hungering was unplanned
Throw away my five bucks to a bagel stand
A couple minutes later I don't feel so hot
A tumblin' in my stomach like I got shot
Throw up in an alley, I'll call in sick
But wait its eleven o'clock I'll look like a dic jerk
So I turn back home on this TuesDAY
Sweatin' like a pig though its only MAY
I know I'm sick but I see an Arby's
Get their curly fries loaded with carb-ys
Get in my apartment turn on ESPN
Wait, wut? The Cavs ain't gonna win
I turn off the t.v.
You know how gay stayin' home can be?
So I go sightseeing, you know?
See how high engineering can go
If I were in San Fran I'd see the Golden Gate
But I've gotta settle for the Empire State
Right now you'll notice I'm dead
Because before entering a penny fell on my head...... And MythBusters said it was impossible, eh? Tell that to my shattered skull.