A big bag of dolphin references

Come here, little boy, I want to show you my big bag of dolphin references.

That's right sonny, I've got a big, giant, massive, huge bag right here, and it's completely filled with dolphin references. Yeah, this thing has served me long and proud over the years. It's a good companion.

What? Did you just ask what's so special about a big bag full of references to dolphins? Oh boy, you're in for a ride, sonny.

It all started on January the thirteenth.

Ah, I still remember that day.... it was super sunny, not rainy at all, and best of all, I was watching my favorite films ever, the Star Wars series. Those films are just phenomenal. I can't imagine knowing anyone who hasn't watched them and been touched by their grace. They're just so wonderfully made, like a perfectly cooked cheese steak sandwich. Man, do I ever enjoy that red meat, those oozing cheeses, and nice, fluffy, wheat-filled bread. Just makes my day.

Anyways, back to the point. Once Star Wars was over and I felt like a better person after watching them, I got up and went outside into the sun, which unfortunately isn't the moon! It was just so bright, I had to put on my sunglasses, they just looked so superb on my face. 'm sure they would have looked just dandy on your face, too, sonny. Mmmmmmmm... Not to mention I got a nice tan, so my skin wasn't all white and pasty. Or something.

And then, it happened.

Mmmm-yup, that's just about it. The end, right there. And that's the story behind the big bag of dolphin references.

What happened, you ask? Well, that's a whole different story, for a much different time. Now, are you going to want to take a ride?

No? What if I offered you some candy and a ride in the back of my van? Don't worry, "Shaggin Wagon" just means we watch Dora the Explorer!

Oh, is that your mommy over there? Well, run along now, sonny. Don't tell your mum about any of this okay? I've already had enough trouble with parents, and lawyers, and the law, and something about being , what do you call it, peed-o-file? Yeah, something funny like that.

Anyways.

/sniff

Happy birthday, big boy.