Anywhere

It's here

            No, it's here

I think you'll find it's here

                                             HERE DAMNIT

Does anyone actually know where it is?

Somewhere over here?

       Maybe it's here

                                                   Or here

                                                                                          I doubt that.

                       Where is it then?

                                         Maybe it's nowhere.

                                                          How can anywhere be nowhere?

                                                                        Go die in a hole.

                                                                                                                I think I found it!

       *gasp* where is it?

                                          Just kidding.

    Is it here?

            I give up.

See also

Actually, don't.