Apple

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“Ooh, ee, ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!”

- Apple on on Apples

SHORTCUUUUUUUUUUTS! Djs... aaaaah!

EYES?

Run. IN FEAR!

Why? Furbies, that's why.

Wait... not Furbies. Ninjas. On fire. With flaming bears. And news reports.

Hang on, Furbies are scarier. So yah, we'll condense you with lesbian furbies. Rawfle.

Manufacturing

Apples, the seemingly natural fruit, are actually made in factories at a cost of four carbon-foot-prints per box. The main ingredients are cloud fluff, brought down from heaven by angels and carved into apple shapes by a kindly old man in Sweden. They are then shipped to Ireland for the inclusion of the other, lesser, ingredients. Namely: apple macs.

Controversy

Apple has been a subject of much controversy due to its apparently racist undertones. No one cares though.

Except everyone.

See also