The Island

There is a toothpick island about 15 km south-west from there. You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you! Feces... Ad... Ryøya... Geologists will tell you that it is made up, for the greater part, of grass. Will this ever make sense? Oh, how often I have wished the grass had not been there... Steak dinner...

Centuries of philosophical debate reduced to a potty joke. Nice. The island is protected on all sides by violent electrons, the Litjestraum to the south and the Storstraum to the north, keeping all but the sturdiest away... Cheri, it's not paranoia when even the vegetables are out to get you. VCR... At least for now.

The island is also under the protection of the sea bass. Operating theater... Petroglyph... Access is prohibited... There is a hole in my cheek. It is really rather odd... but I assume it will go away eventually if I ignore it. A troup of brave locals are stationed there at all times, disguised as fishermen. A sign by the road informs any bypasser to "Proceed with Causion".