Bad Pun Machine

The Bad Pun Machine is a very strange machine with lots of blinky lights and stuff. Its focus is a small glass container. You put something in the container and press a button on the machine, and it transforms the stuff into phail.

For example

• You could cut from a book a side panel titled "Food for Thought," and put it into the machine. Then, after the machine had processed it, you would be able to eat it with your mind. And it would be delicious.
• You could throw your spare cash up into the air, and the machine, through a bad pun about there being change in the air, would cause the air to walk.