Beating the crap out of biscuits

“What?! You don't want crap in your biscuits do you?”

- This article on on it's subject matter

Beating the crap out of biscuits has been disproven by Jose Sanchez, Ph.D. In his dissertation on the subtleties of shutting the hell up, he not only bought the farm but died as well. This why whenever you go past the store your eyes well up and poor people drop buckets into them then carry them back to their tiny huts that are 10 miles away. None of this would be possible without the miracle of government corruption. Oh no, dysentery.

Are you quite finished?

Are you quite finnished?

Yes.

Well, almost. In that I'm not.

Although I did pretend to be Finnish in that Eurovision thing. You know, the one in 2005.

Hey, I had the face for it, okay!

Please, not the biscuits!