Blitzen The Black Nosed Lame-Deer
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
| File:CRAP logo.png | This page is CRAP! It is entered in the 2008 Christmas Rockin' Article Pursuit competition. |
- Blitzen the black nosed Reindeer,
- Had a very dull black nose,
- And if you ever saw it,
- You would probably say 'That's lame'!
- All of the other Reindeer,
- Accepted him due to his normality,
- And he joined in as they laughed at Rudolph,
- For he had a rather shit morality!
- Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
- Santa came to say,
- Rudolph with your nose so bright,
- Won't you guide my Sleigh tonight?
- Oh how the others hated him,
- Blitzen even more than most,
- That gay little shit named Rudolph,
- Now had a reason to boast!
- They thought up a plan to kill him,
- When Santa went to get the Sleigh,
- Blitzen pulled out an Uzi,
- And blew Rudolph and his nose away!
- The time came to hide the body,
- It wasn't hard with all the snow,
- They buried it under a fir tree,
- To make sure no-one would ever know!
- At first everything was normal,
- Santa just assumed he'd quit,
- Until an elf found the body,
- Blitzen was now in deep shit!
- The police came and his face turned pale,
- Blitzen knew he had to act and quick,
- If he was to avoid life in jail,
- And he knew what just might do the trick!
- Santa had become suspicious,
- After Blitzen Had been acting weird,
- So Blitzen, in an act-malicious,
- Strangled him with his own beard!
- With the dogs chewing Santa's leg bone,
- Blitzen though about his wife,
- She would panic when he didn't get home,
- Unless her face collided with a knife!
- He made his way towards the homestead,
- with a 12-inch blade in hand,
- After painting the ceiling blood-red,
- He set fire to the old-man's land!
- The next day he overheard some talking,
- Between two of the factory elves,
- One of them had seen him stalking,
- After working late 'till twelve!
- He Knew that murder could not make it better,
- Every elf now knew the truth,
- So he pulled out his old beretta,
- And used his brain to decorate the roof!
- Merry Christmas everyone!