CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU ARE A CERTIFIED WINNER OF OUR 2010 PROMOTIONS

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Note that the following text can cause internal injuries all over your body while reading it.

“This is spam!”

- on Captain Obvious on this content

“Even worse! This is scam!”

“OMG! We've always said that they are untrustable!”

“I have never had relationships with that woman!”

- on Bill Clinton on Mrs. Daisy Louis

“Yeah! We have a winner...”

- on The police on Mrs. Daisy Louis
CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU ARE A CERTIFIED WINNER OF OUR 2010 PROMOTIONS 
 
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just
concluded annual final draws held on 31st December, 2009 PEPSI Company
Worldwide Promotion, your email was among the 9 Lucky winners who
won £250.000.00POUNDS each on the PEPSI Company.
  
However the results were released on 4th January, 2010
and your email was attached to ticket number (PSPPR2009) and ballot number
(BN:225182008/20) The online draws was conducted by a random selection of
email addresses  from an exclusive list of 29,031 E-mail addresses of
individuals and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random
computer search from the internet. However, no tickets were sold but all
email addresses were assigned to different ticket numbers for representation
and privacy.
Let's take a look closer on this. Everyone want to have £250,000, right? But 8 other "winners" are selected too. We don't care about about these other "winners", certainly some nolifers. So why not just kill them? You can get 2 million extra!!! Think about it!
The selection process was carried out through random
selection in our computerized email selection machine (TOPAZ) from a database
of over 290,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the
world.
 
This Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and
also Licensed by the The International Association of Gaming Regulators
(IAGR).This lottery is the 3rd of its kind and we intend to sensitize the
public.
Random? w00000000000t! We never heard of TOPAZ. Tappas, yes! Tappas's are jummie :P
Lottery? We didn't hear of any lottery? Euromillions maybe. However, nobody makes a chance in that lottery.
PS: Why is "Licensed" with a capital letter? Sensitize with "z"? Wasn't this supposed to be a Brittish email? We don't trust you anymore...
In other to claim your £250,000.00POUNDS prize winning,
which has been deposited in a designated bank. However,you will have to
fill the form below and send it to the Promotion manager of The PEPSI
Company for verification and then you will be directed to the bank where
a cheque of £250,000.00POUNDS has already been deposited in your
favour.
£250,000.00POUNDS?? £ and POUNDS??? Pleonastic, isn't it?
NAME:......................................
AGE:......................................
SEX:.......................................
ADDRESS:...............................
EMAIL:....................................
TEL:..................................
MOBILE PHONE:...................
OCCUPATION:..........................
COMPANY:............................
COUNTRY:................................
Name and age? Illogicopedia, almost 4 years now.
Sex? No thanks.
Address? Haven't any. We live in a box beneeth a bridge in Paris, don't you know?
Email? Ow, yeah, just a second... illogicopedia.hates.wikipedia.and.wikia_that_sucks_cheese@veryhotmail.com
Telephone? (914) 253-2000
Mobile phone??? Don't kid with me! (914) 253-2000 I said!!!
Occupation? Uurgh... making erm... stuff and nonsense.
Company: Illogicopedia
Country: the world, Illogicopedia owns the world!
Please you are advised to complete the form and send it
immediately to our Promotion manager through email or fax for prompt
collection of your fund from the designated bank.
 
(CONTACT PROMOTION MANAGER)
 
Name: Mrs. FRANCESS DAVE
 
Phone # : +447011150911  +4407024015829
 
E MAIL:  pepsibottlingplc1@hotmail.com
 
You are to keep all lotto information away from the general
public especially your ticket number and ballot number.. (This is
important as a case of double claims will not be entertained)..
 
*Staff of PEPSI Company are not to partake in this Lottery
PLEASE BE WARNED*
 
Accept my hearty congratulations once again!
 
Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Daisy Louis
You're really owned.