Caretaker User

I guess that's what I've convinced myself I am at the moment. Just some guy with a broom and a boiler suit keeping the article count up in the background. I don't actually have the broom on me now, but you get the point. So... what's new?

...why do you have a broomhandle sticking out your arse?

Chelsea have continued their 59 game streak of causing my dad to shout indiscrimately at a television, I'm considering believing in Santa again and my cousin (not that one) has appendicitis. Life events that took place just to fill out these few sentences. Go them.

...cousins are a good source of vitamen C

I'm inspirationless and are suffering some kind of bowel fluctuation, so I guess our time is, -it's just fluctuated back up my colon??-well, I was about to type over, but that would appear not to be the case.

...mind if I crack one off as I read this?

Maybe that was just the eye of the storm, I can see storm clouds brewing on the edge of my boxers. I'm placing myself on yellow alert. This is more of a blog post than an article anyway. So much so that it's just some sad weirdo babbling inanely about their own pointless sad little life with hardly any chance anyone will read it.

...I think that bowel movement was contagious.

And now to end it on some kind of a high note. As I type this roughly 157 people worldwide will burst into tears upon the sudden realisation that their life is shit. Bear that in mind as you access illogicopedia, a site where very few people actually speak to each other, and even less get laid. Night night.