Cheesy chocolate bars
Cheesy chocolate bars are an item of conspiracy vast and ominous. You see, combining chocolate bars and cheese is one of the most awesome things ever done. Or so it would have been, for this cannot be pure cheese! Otherwise, it would implode the entirety of the universe in its sheer awesomeness, destroying all in its path. But this did not happen, and it was discovered that the cheese cholocate bars were in fact[citration needed] made of pure evil. This upset many a chocolate bar eater before their soul was taken away and they got a brass screw for a belly button, giving them a craving for D&D and causing them to break out in a pimply rash. Amen.
But, having been barred from doing so by the dreadful entity known as 'logic', sanity could not be encapsulated in a mere chocolate bar. Uncyclopedia sought for the coco puffs of life, but the cheesy chocolate bars were beyond them. Instead, they have resorted to eating their own gigantic toe nail clippings, killing themselves in topukku. This was fortunate for all of the Illogicopedians, wanting the chocolate all for themselves. The chocolate war was imminent...