Chicken of the Sea
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Based in San Diego, California, Chicken of the Sea is the company that is single-handedly responsible for the breeding of 96% of the world's population of gill-equipped, underwater poultry. Originally, these schools of chickens were harvested for packing in nice, neat tins, for consumption by fat, bloated carcasses like you. However, after being liberated by PETA, they now freely roam the ocean floor, sporting a variety of attractive headwear, attending birthday parties, and playing indie rock and post-punk revival music.
