Coffin Apartments

Do you want to live in a city? But can you not afford the luxury of an expensive city apartment? Then we've got the solution for you!!! COFFIN APARTMENTS!!!

We own a graveyard. And if you pay us 40 dollars a week, we'll dig a grave for you and drop a coffin inside. You are then free to live inside this coffin for as long as you want, as long as you pay.

Our coffins are made of the finest splintery wood. So you'll be cozy inside.

Our coffins are six feet long and one foot wide. So if you lie down in exactly the right position, you can almost MOVE!!!!

Our coffins are also pitch black when the lid is closed. It's a fantastic place to spend hours and hours and hours!!! Especially when the body fluids start accumulating!!!

Plus, when you die, you don't even have to leave your coffin home! We can simply dump some dirt on top and you're all set! How's THAT for a time saver!

So if you're hunting for a place to live, but can't afford a regular apartment, we strongly reccomend living in a coffin. It's a perfect place to live as long as you don't mind going without food, water, space, light, comfort, companionship, or oxygen!!!!