Conspiracy Theories Solved

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You may have been wondering the answer to many conspiracy theories well you don't have to wonder anymore because they are all solved!

Is 2pac dead?

Um... yes?

Who killed JFK?

Well.... Your mom?

Is Michael Jackson alive?

No. He was anal-raping me when he died.

Are UFOs real?

...and I would know this... why?

Where is D.B. Cooper?

Dead.

I mean... where was D.B. Cooper?

Somewhere.

Where?

In the U.S.

What about Bigfoot? Is he real?

I saw him once.

Is spontaneous combustion real?

No silly. *bursts into flames*

Was Princess Diana murdered?

No. You've been reading the Daily Express too much haven't you?