Curtains
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Like newspaper, hot tar, and chicken tetrazinni, curtains should not be ingested.
The History of Curtains
When King Kurt of Finland got glare in his eyes, he ordered his bravest nights to extinguish the sun. They got there using bicycles but, unfortunately, they burned up in the sun's corona. King Kurt got so angry, he tore off his advisor's clothes and through the pieces at his window, which was letting in the light. The clothes accidentally got stuck on the hooks and the kurtains (named after the king) were born. Eventually, the letter K was outlawed, so they became curtains.