Earth Day
Every April 22nd, the tooth decay fairies come out to frolick, turning our pristine and above all highly sustainable globe into a puddle of oil-sucking depravity that needs some eco-chastity, big time. This magical day is Earth Day. On this day of vigil, normally indifferent slobs are urged to drop a few haypennies in Earth's rusty beggar cup, and of course to Help the Ferns, if you can believe that.
Campaigns
Pledge drives
This is just a smattering of all the pledge drives that take place on this hallowed-we'en day. You can get 'em on DVD, for if you missed something.
- Help the Ferns - They keep loosing seeds on there planters - halp!
- Prezzies? - Ooh, I love prezzies. Gimme!
- Old growth forests 24-hours - Cut 'em down. Make some room for the newies, you knarled greys.
- Luck o' the draw - Could fix the biosphere; could line the pockets of banana republic warlords. I'm taking odds! 1.788263688:1! Limited time! RIDDLE ME THIS, TAXI DRIVER! (To the moon!)
- Ventriloquism parade. Ventriloquism claims the lives of hundreds of wooden dummies each year. They all have to be replaced with precious wood. I mean, wood doesn't grow on trees, you know. Oh wait, I have some right here....
Presidential campaigns
Didja hear? Ralph Nader's leading in the polls! Get with the winning team, man.
What I'm doing on Earth Day
- Sorting a pile of micron-sized shreds into 2-gram piles.
- Belching less (u no, to save teh environs*).
- Replacing all the fluorescents with luminescents.
- Smash all the greenhouses. It was them all along! Ha ha haeoui!
Add your anecdotal evidence here but only if it discredits Al Gore (Michael Moore is OK too).
Say it with me
I AM IGNORANT. THERE ARE BOOKS I HAVEN'T READ. I WILL WITHHOLD JUDGEMENT AND ABOVE ALL NOT VOTE. I AM IGNORANT. AMEN.
Oops. I got carried away (in a straightjacket) there. But on the plus side, my grasp of English is improving. N.B.: my first language is NOT English; it is baby.