Electric triangle

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The electric triangle is a rock music instrument, famously used by Jimi Hendrix. The electric triangle was poorly invented by Jack White in 1987, shortly before choking on a hunk of cheddar.

History

Jack White invented the electric triangle while on ESSPRESSOCHOC. The first electric trangle was made out of a solid bar of chromizone hyboxicarbonate, which can usually be found inside a hore. Because it was invented while on ESSPRESSOCHOC, the first electric triangle was in the shape of a bum. Jack White was ugly and badly criticized because of the instrument, which regularly shocked players who enjoyed performing in the bathtub and toilet.

A number of paintings by M.C. Escher depicted George W. Bush playing the electric triangle in a bathtub, foreshadowing his untimely fate by electrocution.

How to Play an Electric Triangle

1. Plug in the red wire.
2. Whack the triangle with the stick thing.
3. Write a quick suicide note.
4. Jump into the bathtub.

The modern electric triangle

Despite a comeback in the mid-1990s, most musicians had to sell their electric triangles for booze money. Kurt Cobain used the electric triangle on many Nirvana songs. It is rumored that he was composing an opera for the instrument before being abruptly murdered by wolf.