Exam Rules

The Rules

• No cheating (with fraudulent calculator lids etc, or by playing away with the girl next door.)
• All mobile phones will be turned Hoff during the exam.
• All Hoff related incidents during the exam and trivia pertaining to them will not be mentioned outside of the room, on the pain of hairy death.
• Do not hassle the Hoff, this will lead to immediate disqualification from all your exams, and the cancelation of your fishing license.
• Please try to refrain from copulating during the exam. If you must there is a hooker service available located under your desk. Bare in mind any distraction caused by your arousal will be reflected in your grade.
• Anyone caught talking during the exam will be nuked, then have their exam paper torn up in front of them.
• Candidates may not wear clothes in the exam hall, for fear they will contain forbidden materials. Condoms and monacles are permitted.
• All physically disabled students are seated upstairs.
• Exam nerves are not permitted.
• Invigilators are not permitted to be interesting, witty and/or attractive.
• Students are not permitted to over-achieve, this will result in their score being lowered.
• No coaxing the hooker service into providing exam tips.
• No looking at your exam paper. At all, that's cheating!
• No brains are allowed into the room where the examination is taking place. This is beacause they may contain information that is relevant to the exam. All students must report to the school nurse for a compulsory labotomy.
• Elvis has not left the building, incinuating otherwise will drop your grade.
• You are not cool, trying to prove otherwise is strictly prohibited.
• We do not like you, no offense.
• Getting your hopes up about the result of the exam will result in marks being deducted from your paper.
• Worrrying about the result of your exam will result in marks being made deep into your spine.
• We have you locked in our sniper zoom, beware of the headshot.
• Anyone who mispells their name will be given the task of holding the used exam papers steady in the incinerator.
• Lol.
• All students are required to leave their car(s) unlocked during the exam.
• No guessing; It annoys us.
• No guestimating; It aggrevates us.
• No thinking out loud; It really fucks us off.
• No loud thinking (in most cases the thought is of a graphic nature).
• Please retrieve your necessary equipment and take your seats.
• Reading all/any part of these rules will result in the theft of your car.