FffffffKEYfffffffffBORED

There was a man,

who was morbidly afraid.

Specifically, he was terrified of making mistakes of any kind.

He never talked to anyone, for fear of an awkward silence in the conversation.

He never dated, because he was afraid of rejection.

He never brushed his teeth, because he was a fraid (deliberate typo) of poking himself. With a toothbrush.

He never ate because he was afraid of staining his clothes.

One day, shortly before his death, he created an invention.

It was a new type of keyboard.

You see.

He was afraid of making typos.

So he made a keyboard that you could type on all day and never make mistakes.

It only had one letter, "f."

Because it only had one letter, he could type without ever making a typo.

He sat down at his computer and typed "ffffffffffffffffffffffff" all day until.

They found the keyboard, and patended it with his approval.

They sold it to the general public.

People were soon unplugging their old, mistake-ridden keyboards and replacing them with these foolproof new keyboards.

Soon every paper, every newsletter, every website, every book, consisted solely of "ffffffffffffffffffff."

The keyboard in question was shaped oddly like the United States.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

End of part one.