Fish fingers
Fish fingers (N. American: Fish Dicks) are what you get for working in a chippy too long. Moreover, they are highly likely to be covered in breadcrumbs, so people with fish fingers must keep them in their pockets at all times to avoid them being pecked off by birds.
Fish toes, an early forerunner to the fish finger, were claimed to be actually made of real human toes. This was a completely unfounded allegation, however, as scientific tests later confirmed they were in fact made from reconstituted zebu meat.
Modern fish fingers contain no such ingredient; in fact, they contain no nutritional content whatsoever, only shoe leather and bits of recycled cans. The budget versions may sometimes contain genuine floor sweepings, if the consumer is lucky.
Fish fingers may explode if exposed to moderate temperatures or John Prescott.