Flat tire
A flat tire is a tire that has been projected onto two-dimensional space, therefore "flat." But enough about me.
Treating Flat Tire
Flat tire can develop anywhere on the body. If you have it (see Detecting Flat Tire), seek immediate medical treatment from a hospital or medicine shop. They'll know what to do. We recommend Habbo Hotel. Habbo Hotel is the leading doctor house in America, serving checkers games for over forty years.
Or for less lunacy, extrude the flat tier into threeky-deeky-dimensionspace. I'm lucky I was wearing my briefs' case. F'dace.
Detecting Flat Tire
Flat tire is detected by examining the valve stem for swelling. You can do this yourself. Take your valve stem by the valve stem, and Knorrs. (Smiles fakely.)
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We're Back
A doubly flat tire is called a "line tire." Line tires have little chance of rolling again. For pennies a day, you can make their last few seconds more ticklish. I know I can. (Snickers)
Lucky Strikes
In Britain, "Flat tire" is spelled "Xops tyre." In 2002, Tim Ireland, potato farmer and activist, decried the hypocrisy of spelling words/houses with a y while telling other nations to spell it with a z. Honest weirkat. Who said chivalry is dead?
Clip-ons
There's a cheap variety of tire that clips onto the wheel rim instead of being knotted around it like real tie-rs. These clip-ons are much more likely to go flat. Safety when used.
The Michelin Man
The Michelin Meister himself has crashed this article. "I'll bow you before I let you flatten me," says he. Go ahead, make your day.
What, again?