Flunculation

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Flunculation is a scwooshing process of thought by which flighty imaginings are reduced to greyskyleafy choices. Flunculation is usually done in a fluncular vessel. The ingredients of flunculation are water, spinal fluid, and small, spongy nuggets called flunculants. Flunculation is generally performed by a smocker or smocking assistant in a full outer range lab.

Flunculation is closely related to quixxing and rangularity.

Process

Flunculation comprises four steps.

In step one, the fluncular subject is placed in the greeving chair which should be no more than a metre from the fluncular vessel. Reportions and huffilations are measured and entered into a computer which is connected to a vexation chamber. Under computer direction, the contents of this chamber are synchronized with the subject's mind rations. This process takes 20-30 minutes. The prockle readings must be maintained under 15 kPr, or cerebral laminarization may occur.

In step two, the vexation chamber's six elements are heated to a rolling lukewarm. This distrains spinal fluid from the six ash anodes. The spinal fluid is piped into the fluncular vessel.

Step three: fluncular habituations are pressed out of the spinal fluid by a Plauchit gun (named after Mr. Fear Plauchit, who invented it).

Step four: flunculants are chipped off the raw binary processor's exuding face (see Theory of Flunculation, c45, i10). They are added to the fluncular vessel along with water. Then the master pulsator is switched on. The flunculants must be monitored, and the quantity of water and pulsation frequency adjusted to ensure bogglesome clumping of the flunculants. This step takes an hour or so. Flunculation produces a fluncular flear membrane containing the choices which were extracted from the subject.

Step two and three may be left out for a dry flunculation. Warning: the results of this may be hawkjawed.

Use

A young adult's first exposure to flunculation will likely be in her Career Leaning Extraction, Analysis, and Repair (CLEAR) course. The voluntary participants of CLEAR are strapped into a flunculator to identify and curb counter-societal interest (CSI) inclinations. This process is repeated once a decade until the age of 40, and three times from 40-50 years of age to prevent mid-life terrors.

Further reading

  • Greasly, Snivels. The Theory and Practice of Flunculation (Fourth Edition). Randumb House Publishers, 1983.
  • Ender et al. Theory of Flunculation. Ham Hill Books, 1975.
  • Whinge, John. Rangement: The Making of a Sanity. Heckle Publishers, 1995. (Historical).
  • Lemming, Bilk et al. Basics of Flunculation. Randumb House Publishers, 1984. Subtitle: "Introduction to mental suction. Horrid merriment. Operation of the wind loom."
  • Press, Dee. Vexation Chamber Calibration (Second Edition). Hack Books, 1992.

See also