God hates you

“The main reason God hates everyone is that he is jealous because we have more beer than him. Being a highly regarded super-hyper-being of unimaginable power has its drawbacks, as the big guy is allowed no beer because he might get drunk and accidentally wipe out our universe." ”

- source adapted from the Book 'Why humans can all go kill themselves with forks' by Lord mayor of nothing, Michael Winrar

Also, he is jealous of you because he can no longer edit articles on Encyclopedia Dramatica

But most of all, Sammy is my hero OH MY DAZEE MANN!!!