Great Frog revolt of sometime last year
The Great Frog revolt of sometime last year was an attempt by a group of our most tasty frogs to not only resist being eaten, but to free all the frogs in France, forcing us to eat snails instead
Battle plants
The frog battle plants where simple. They where small shrubbery with squirt-guns attacked to their tiny flowers. Unfortunately, these plants would travel forward in time and find out that I am saying they have small flowers, and since flowers are basically plant genitalia they immediately ambushed my house which is why my house is now not damaged at all and my dog can't go into the basement anymore.
Our battle force was a strong and devoted pack of snails who did not realize they where going to be eaten no matter what would happen during the battle.
Results
The snails rushed in and chewed the plant's leafs off. The squirt guns where useless and actually gave the snails a speed boost, upgrading their speed from very slow to slow. The frog revolt was defeated.
The snails where then eaten as a reward for winning the battle.
Rant
I swear, if we keep electing these evil capitalist dogs, then soon the average Frenchman might have to work 20 hour weekdays! They will turn us into slaves!!