Hard drive
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- The author of this article would like you to know he can complete each and every one of the drives identified forthwith as he is a driving god. He also wants to draw your attention to Hard disk, for a similarly named compooter peripheral.
File:Green man.jpg
Those zebra crossings are permanently on "walk", but do you think I care? Well I do not, for I am a driving god.
Hard drives are to be found on roads all over the world. They are the polar opposite of easy drives, which can be purchased from reputable wholesalers completed in a tenth of a lunchtime by the most inexperienced of drivers.
Classification
The difficulty level of particular drives can be ascertained by the level of distraction associated. The following table outlines the points system applied by the HDAA (Hard Drive Ascertation Association).
| Description | Points allocation | Extra |
|---|---|---|
| Roadside signs | 5 points per sign crashed into | Extra 10 points if it is a stop sign |
| Traffic lights | 8 points per red light ran | If being pursued by police, 32 points |
| Ford Focuses | 21 points per Ford Focus wasted | 1 point deducted if it is in fact a new model Fiesta |
| Bollards | 1 point each bollard flattened | Combo opportunity: 4 points extra per bollard collided, 10 points extra for full set[1] |
Follow the above table, pick a route and who knows, you too could be a Hard driver.
Hard drives
- Orpington to London, 13 miles
- Norway to Germany, 24 and some miles
- Antarctica to Easter Island. Requires 6,000,000 foot tall tyres
- Birmingham to Birmingham, 3,000,001 miles (according to Google Maps)
References
- ↑ Warning: must avoid local council to dodge resulting fine per bollard