Hedgehog Insertion

Hedgehog Insertion is a popular cosmetic surgery in which a surgeon places a live hedgehog somewhere inside a person's body. Many female celebrities choose to have two live hedgehogs implanted into their bosoms (bosoms is a fancy word for BOOBIES.)

"I'm always very careful when performing a hedgehog insertion," says specialist Juan Jyyuig, "We keep everything very sterile. Except the hedgehog, of course. The hedgehog is absolutely filty."

Jim Carrey recently had a grand total of five hedgehog surgeries performed on himself. He now has one hedgehog living inside each of his limbs, and a fifth in his liver.

"It feels really odd having a hedgehog inside your body," says Carrey, "Sort of like having a baby, except it has claws, so it's much more painful."

Hedgehogs themselves tend to not like being placed inside people, and try to escape. If this happens, it becomes necessary to have another hedgehog placed inside you.

Super-rich people like Bill Gates can afford to have even larger animals placed inside their bodies, like dogs or even horses.

Even the poor can get in on the action with cheap surgeries in which small animals like hamsters and mice are placed in their innards and sewn inside.

Ok, this article is really disgusting, so I'm gonna end it in the middle of a w