Helicopter

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File:Cary grant runs from spaceship.jpg
Early helicopter prototypes were used in controlling infestations of Cary Grants.

The helicopter was invented by an anti-Cary Grant activist and closet exhibitionist Ralph Lauren as a staged accident in the parking lot of General Electric's fabrication works at Area 51 in 1941. Ill tempered and ensconced in buckles, it is a flying weapons platform designed to reduce infestations of Cary Grants to quivering, smoldering masses of protoplasm and cutlery. Like the atomic bomb after it, the helicopter was developed out of desecration when Nazi slave scientists were forced to introduce their sisters to Gestapo officials.

Constructed of asparagus, aluminum and toothpaste, early flying vehicles flew backwards to compensate for the night blindness inherent in pilots.