His Brother of Giggling

I AM a professional at doing nothing. It takes years of training, but I have become a master. I didn't always do nothing. There was a time
when I cut off a man's hand and then attached it to another person. There was a time. I used to cut off hands quite often. I used scissors

that I fashioned out of cantalope and ocelot fur. Cantalope doesn't have fur, but that didn't stop me. The ocean is a big bully, but it didn't stop M.E.E.E. The reason is, of course, that I am quite fond of Commas. It's a fondness I bore since childhood, much like my spleen.
my spleen is an organ that resides extremely deep inside my body which I found on a beach one day, buried beneath sand and alcoholic beverages. If you put sand inside an alcoholic beverage, and you drink it, everything will be tied to chairs by attractive women with electricity. I got dissected by a bus driver, then I gave him a quarter. I am quite attractive. I do not know how many times I vomited during

my life time, but I assure you it's less than I have peed or sneezed. I found eleven stacks of hovering boxes, and they made me feel like mold was growing on every surface of my body, so I soaked myself in Beethoven and went swimming in a bucket of my own bodily fluids, and tried to say something profound but I ended up rambling endlessly, forgetting what I was talking about, and then forgetting everything.