I have no idea

I mean really. I have no idea what I'm saying.

Fleece

What does a jacket material have to do with this?

Parkour

You mean park-gay? Because, it's like "Parkay" but it's "park-gay". Eh? Eh?

Douche

Excuse me sir?

Faggotastic

I don't even think that's a word.

Shotgun

Like my wedding? It was totally a shotgun wedding. Cuz, like I got my girl's eggo preggo so her dad was like, "Get married!"

Muslim

Yes, Mr. President. Geddit?

Persistence

Like how I'm persistent at writing decent articles? Okay, I reached for that one.

Psycho

Maybe I'm the one... Maybe I'm the one... Maybe I'm the one who can copy lyrics of a song.

Scar

That's what's on your face? I thought it was just ugly.

Heroin

One hell of a drug.

Fail

You mean my life? God, I love self-deprecating humor.

Stress

Gay niggaz.

Fried chicken?

Do I look black? No. I'm a white kid from suburban Florida. Shiite, mon.

Nigeria

Is this one of those commercials that's supposed to make me feel guilty for being upper-middle class?

Freestyle

I do it like a mo' fuckin' pro.

Snow

Don't eat if it's yellow. Please. Take my word.

British

Tea. Crumpets. Harry Potter. Bad teeth. Other miscellaneous stereotypes.

Nine inches

My dick size. Minus... um... 6.

Zero

More like queero! W00t for me!!!

Slap Happy

Are you cereal? No? I could have sworn you looked like Cheerios.

Sexting

I'll send you some nudes if you want.

Graffiti

You mean that writing on my walls? Or are you referring to the stuff growing on my genitalia?

Freedom

Bitch, you ain't deserve none.

Whipped

I'll whip you, you piece of shit. Or do you mean whipped cream?

Endings

I'm terrible at them.