If only

This will all be worthwhile... if only someone remembers.

But who ever does? Who remembers the past before the present? Why remember the past but not the future? Why remember the future before the past?

18. 42. 21. 12. Random? No. Memory.

Alice says she doesn't care if anyone remembers - this is important to us, and only to us. If someone digs up the remnant of the dream in a thousand years, so be it. If nobody ever digs up these remnants of the dream and they moulder in the mouldering brine of a sea of death, so be it. She doesn't care. She just wants the experience, and when it is over, when all the pieces have washed away, that shall be the end of this.

People want to be remembered, to live on. It is a manner of immortality, living on in memory. Those whose names remain are feared, respected, and the names have influence. It is power.

Nobody knows.

38. 83. 7. 12. 13. Minds like their patterns.

Nobody will ever know.

The ones who have lost will remember, of course. They will remember what was lost and they will wonder, but they will never know. Alice seems disturbed by this - she does not wish to live on anonymously amidst the enigma of loss. She just wants the experience itself. Concrete and sudden and so, so bloody... Alice does love her blood. Always has, really.

Longing for what is lost, what one does not have, what one can never have again. This is where the dreams begin, and the ideas fixate - it seems better, somehow. The more people want, the better it seems...

...and the more disappointing when it comes.