IllogiBooks:Biographies

This is a place for long or short biographies of illogicness! They can already have full articles and add all you like!

Biographies

Ayn Rand

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Ayn Rand is an asskicking Goddess of the Free Market and comic book superheroine.

Barry Potter

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Barry Potter is Harry Potter's long-lost brother who was given away at birth. He grew up in Kalamazoo, Michigan and never met his family. He became a famous street-magician but was killed by his brother Harry when he became too famous and used his powers for the wrong reason.

Barry Scott

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Wolfman from Gladiators raised and with an ominous stain on the crutch of his trousers that not even Cillit Bang can remove (he swears it's evaporated milk but Wii'r not so sure) Barry Scott is the renal artery of the only good ITV program between the years of last and now.

Bob, the One-Eyed Guy

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Bob was a man who was born to no parents and had only one eye. At first people tried to kill him but then news broke about him and everyone eased down. He later was shot in the eye by an arrow and blinded forever.

Boobalooba

Boobalooba was born on a farm in Texas. He was the town drunk and he went to the bar everyday. He met a girl named Billie Joe Bob at a party and they wound up getting really drunk and having a gay son named Boobalooba Jr.

Byntmens Yak Trough

Briefly a candy in 1959, Trough sped through his life 3 years ahead of time. Son and daughter of a Dutch yak and a gaggle, he attained fame as a toddler, nymph, and hatchling for viscous damage to Roman Catholicism. In 1966 he invented Cat-Pork, starting a craze that lasted until the end of time.

In 1977, the unit of measurement for fart odors was developed and named the Byntmens in honor of it's inventor. Power supplies benefited greatly from this quintum leap of technology. Monsters fled from my closet, terrified of passive underbar torsion.

In league with the devil and poodles, he invented the Indian Tech Support Death Metal Hip Hop genre of music. No songs were ever actually produced for this style, and it was subsequently banished to another nearby universe.

Canoleós

Canoleós was a Spanish/Italian man who had a very strange name. It was most likely derived from the user who created this' name. He is an unknown man but he was important to history. He was the first gay male to exist. When created, something went different in his brain and made him gay. He had a horrible life from 1367-1417. Back, then there were no other gay men so he had no male partner. Canoleós was thought of as "That Guy". He lived a miserable life in Spain. There is a monument for Canoleós in San Fransisco. For more information about Canoleós on this site: http://www.thatguyakacanoleós.com

Coolio McBoolio

Michael Derek D'Saunders, or "Coolio McBoolio" for short, was a singer in the early 90's that everyone forgot about. He had hits such as "Yeah, yeah!" and "C'mon!" or everyone's favorite "Uh-huh-uh-huh!".

Eluzer

Eluzer was a loser...

Elvis Presley

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Elvis Aaron Garon Kelsey Jessep Presley was a fat fried chicken drug addict born in the days of old. He invented the jumpsuit and was really, really, really, really fattttttttttttttttt.

Flub Nugget

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Flubicus Johnsun Nugget, Flub Nugget for short, is the greatest man who ever lived. He was born in Guatemala, 1972. He died in 2008 in Outer Space. Flub Nugget speaks all 7,000 languages in the world. He was the creator and previous owner of The Magic Banana. Flub Nugget's only releative is his evil, jealous dog, Doodad. In 1993, Doodad stole Flub Nugget's Magic Banana for he knew of it's ULTIMATE POWER.

Frank Norman

Frank Norman was the first person to eat his fingers. He was a competitive eater and was testing an idea for a new competition. He ate his fingers to try to demonstrate how safe the sport was going to be. He ate all of his fingers in 21.13 seconds, a still-standing world record. He realized he just ate his fingers 3.7531 seconds after he was finished, also a world-record. Now there is an underground finger-eating competition called the Norman's Digit Eating Competition. It was named "Digit Eating" to soften the name. Frank now lives in a penthouse in New York City and is the commissioner of the Norman's Body Eating League.

King Mán Dó La

King Mán Dó La was born in Louisiana or as they called it Sianalouis. He was the king of Ababalababooba or Balb. He ruled for eighty some-odd years and in ninety of them he was dead. He died at the age of three but for some reason everyone thought he was alive for 100 more years. Where did they think he was?? Don't ask me.

The OMG Scary Alien

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The OMG Scary Alien is an alien who crash landed on Earth with no bad intentions but people thought he was evil. He sent a message to all humans about how he comes in peace. They embraced him and now he is the awesomest thing on the face of the Earth.

The ROFLMAO Guy

The ROFLMAO Guy is a very well-known guy. He is the person that when on the internet ends every sentence in lol, rofl, lmao, or roflmao. They are extremely low on the internet food chain and aren't respected. You may not know the ROFLMAO Guy as the ROFLMAO Guy but you know him. It is unknown if he gets a sexual thrill from typing roflmao or if he likes to annoy people. His age is unknown but he is estimated from the age of 10 to 15. He probably has an expensive computer to process such babbling so quickly.

The ROFLMAO Guy is known to lurk places such as World of Warcraft, Everquest, Guild Wars, Runescape, AIM, YouTube comments, and any chatroom. He most likely has built some kind of contraption to make it that he doesn't have to leave his computer chair and lives off of Monster Energy Drinks and Lays Potato Chips. Though he never leaves his computer chair, he somehow maintains an extremely skinny body. He has hacked his computer to be able to play WoW, Everquest, and Guild Wars at the exact same time.

He watches the YouTube video "Normal Instant Message Convo LOL ROFL LMAO!" religiously and states the ROFLMAO Creed. The creed is "I am a nerd, rofl. I annoy people, lol. I am an idiot, lmao. ROFLMAO! ROFLMAO! ROFLMAO!" If you have information about the ROFLMAO Guy contact us at http://www.findtheroflmaoguy.com/submit_a_tip. Thank you for any information.

Toast Jones

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Born in 1996, Buttered Toast Jones grew up in the small neighborhood of Zetoun, a French town. He grew up in an orphanage because his parents abandoned him. His parents were Fried Eggs Jones and Chocolate Pancakes Jones. Buttered was different from all the other kids because, well, he was a piece of toast. He couldn't go outside because of fear of being wet. He didn't like the name Buttered so he went by his middle name, Toast.

Willy Wally

Willy Wally was the Founder and C.E.O. of Alliteration Inc. He was later replaced by Pilly Polly and then Milly Molly. He realized that more monkeys muscled many more mice on Monday and that oh, golly, Holly was jolly with Molly with her dolly. He started the company to show that Willy Wally was weird on Wednesdays while at Walter's waterway. Willy Wally was assassinated a year after the company was formed by an alliteration protester.