IllogiNews:Allright, own up! Who did it?

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

:P

You heard the mantitle, empty your pockets and shake down your beard 'cos one of us in here is a thief! Some complete stoner has stolen the email address illogicopedia@hotmail.com!!!!! A traitorous swine from within our very walls (no offence Piggy McSwiney) has taken a much needed email adress, robbed it of all it's dignity and prestige, and then rubbed their Judas dick all over it's naked body.

Whoever it is, please turn yourself in and end this madness!

Don't worry I won't shout at you or beat you or anything, I just want you to admit to me that you did it so that I can forgive you. I promise to forgive you and never mention it to anyone again, I'll even snap off your penis to show how angered caring and understanding I am. I mean you've got nothing to lose, just give me the email address back so we can get the castration over with and put this whole affair behind us. You can try and keep it secret but I WILL find out, and when I do I WILL castrate you, when I'm done with you you'll make goatse look tame. You see them bushes over there, yeah, well I've got my people in there, your people are dead. Remember, I'm watching you...