IllogiNews:Dead person dies of death

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

A dead person was found dead today at Confederate Square in Old Nottingham Village. Officials who investigated the cause of his death reported: "He appears to have died of death."

The incident, which gained mass media coverage over the weekend, is thought to be similar in nature to a recent shooting at a morgue, where 17 still remain dead. Though the cause of this latest death remains uncertain, it is perfectly clear that being dead killed him. Officials are making further investigation, though they are refusing to give details in an apparent attempt to calm the population over fears that millions of already dead people in cemeteries across the world may face the worst.

The crack team of boffins say that they plan to go to the Bahamas and drink some nice refreshing drinks on the warm sandy beaches. They think this will help them solve the puzzle.