IllogiNews:Government Agents lose 20ft Elephant on a train
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
A routine Government Transportation exercise left MI6 red-faced last night as top level agents lost the elephant they were taking from a top secret base in Suffolk (next to AutoTrader) to another Top Secret Base in Whitehall. It's reported that elephant contained classified data, such as bomb-making instructions, inscribed on the back of a peanut in its lower colon. According to the Agents everything was running smoothly until they reached Paddington Station, where upon departure they noticed that the giant bull elephant they'd been guarding for the past 3 hours had simply vanished.
“One minute it was eating a peanut next to me, then next thing I knew it was wasn't. Where could it have gone?”
This is the fourth time something like this has happened in recent months, last time the agents even managed to lose their marbles, as well as the important document they were guarding, and their virginity. MI6 officially blamed the notorious bubblegum commonly found on the underside of seats on the train, dismissing rumours that Agents may have directly been at fault. The current whereabouts of the elephant in question are unknown, though detectives are working on the line that it may have got off at Elephant & Castle station.
“I wouldn't worry too much, that 20ft bull elephant is notoriously sly, with any luck he'll be watching Sky Sports News in a pub somewhere. And the best bit is that he'll eat so many peanuts we'll finally get to see the half-naked lady behind where the packets are held. :D”
As of yet no one has been charged for losing the Elephant, though some strawberry flavoured chewing gum is facing a tribunal next month.
- Signing off, a 20ft Bull Elephant.