IllogiNews:Horoscopes for December, 2010
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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
Here is your horoscope for this fine month.
- Aries - Super Mario will throw a fireball at you.
- Taurus - Hulk Hogan will throw you in the ring. Don't expect a tax return.
- Gemini - More elves will give you less presents for Christmas. Thank liberal logic!
- Cancer - You are gonna get a bajillion dollars for your birthday. Quit dreaming, it ain't gonna happen.
- Leo - Thou shalt not eatest the evil taco runts. Wear a sombero.
- Virgo - The doctor will diagnose you with Male Menstrual Syndrome. Whine.
- Libra - You will fly off the face of the flat Earth.
- Scorpio - That math test will eat you alive. Literally. (Wait, wasn't that November's?)
- Sagittarius - Thus, you were born. That'll be $344,233,454,433,554.345
- Capricorn - Sorry. This horscope isn't available. Your computer will now self-destruct.
- Aquarius - Your face will turn into a book.
- Pisces - You will literally turn into pieces.
- Fred Flintstone - Naruto will hit you with a stick. Grunt out an English essay.
- Will Smith - ZZZZZZZZZ!
- Whew - I'm done!