IllogiNews:Horoscopes for February, 2011
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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
Here are your horoscopes for this fine month.
- Aries - The giant cake on the reft will suck your insides out and will even give you a nickel!
- Taurus - Your brain will explode from all that there Geometry homework piling up on your banana desk.
^ Oh no... File:Monkey-butler.jpg Island Monkey - Throw a banana 19:40, 22 Farbleum 2011 (UTC)
- Gemini - The position of Pluto says you will live on Obama Money. Too bad.
- Cancer - Shamon! Hee hee!
- Leo - Your diet will fail due to the fact that you suck.
- Virgo - Please avoid Leos and Pisces because you have a contagious brain disease.
- Libra - Conservapedia will dominate in your house. Seriously.
- Scorpio - TAX EXEMPTION!
- Sagittarius - The position of the North Star says you should spend the rest of your miserable life playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.
- Capricorn - You will testify! HE HAW!
- Aquarius - Your significant other will end up using your intestines to clean their teeth. Wear a toilet over your head.
- Pisces - That elf down the road will give you a hernia. Please proceed with cream cheeze.
- Ophiuchus-You are new to this damn list and are bugging me! Go die in a ditch!