IllogiNews:Malk is the new milk
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
In the latest move to empower women, child psychologists have deemed malk tastier, and more nutritous for infants than classical breast milk. This unprecedented move is set to shock traditionalists, and shake the very foundations of an institution that has seen breasts pilferred for centuries. The Vatican had this to say ~
"Malk, hah! It's about as effective at feeding babies as condoms are at stopping the spread of AIDS."
Malk for those of you who don't know, is the mysterious substance said to eminate from the stimulated male nipple. Until recently Malk has been kept a closely guarded secret, an unmentionable taboo that has foregone the public eye due to cross-media press censorship. It is alleged that the all male taste sensation was rediscovered late last night during a pseudo-scientific experiment, which sought to test the effects of nipple massage on memory recall. The masseus is currently being treated for shock but it has been assured that no lasting damage has been done.
In what Father's for Justice are calling a great victory for equality, the first annual Malk Day is scheduled for next tuedsay, the 26th. Be there, or risk death by nipple juice.