IllogiNews:Man, 26, claims Twitter invades his privacy

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New York City, New York.

Justin Williams, a aspiring lawyer and known "club-hopper", claims the accessibility of the site Twitter invades his privacy. He says, "Just because I'm friends with them on the site doesn't mean I want them to know whatever I write on the site". He also says that he uses the site as a place to properly turn the events in his everyday life into chronological order. "I type 'I'm in a Pizza Hut, text me at 914-3992-5781' and all of my friends can see it. Where in that message does it scream, 'I want you to read this!'. Where? Where?" The CEO of Twitter responded by saying, "Who is this kid? Do I know this kid?" After no useful information was gained from him, we went to the Vice President of Twitter and asked the same question, to which he answered, "Uh... That's kinda the point of the site." Though all legal experts advise him other wise he will be representing himself in a medical malpractice suit against Twitter.

The reason behind the "medical malpractice" is because, quote, "It's what all the other guys do to get money." Twitter has released a press-release saying, "We acknowledge the concern behind this issue and we are doing all we can to help all those affected. Many victims' families have contacted us and give us full-support because, as they say, their family members are, 'morons'. We are deeply saddened by this issue, and our prayers go out to all victims." Though most people disagree with Williams' views, there are a few supporters such as Isaac Lawrence, who is most noted for his support for the victims of "weight loss shakes that make you lose weight". Isaac says that he thinks Justin is right. "There really isn't a place on your computer that you can write things down. It's not like there's one standard with every Microsoft computer." This just in, Isaac Lawrence has just supported the court case where a man is suing Trojan Condoms for preventing the conception of his child.

For all updates on this developing case please keep up with IllogiNews.

Reporting for Illogicopedia this is T3PO, IllogiNews.