IllogiNews:Man loses ear; finds duck underneath toenail

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

...and they all lived happily ever after. Back to you Susan!

Novelniver the Ninth, 2008

In other news today, a man lost his ear. Fran Carter of Cowbellland discovered that his ear fell off after he was walking at the park. His brother, Patrick, had been swimming in the pond and consequently drowned.

"It was awkward... air seemed to rush through my head," said Fran.

Later he noticed an extreme ammount of uttered quacking seeping out of his ingrown toenail. After using his magnifying glass, he saw that in fact he did have a chest hair. However, he had to look onto the increasing volume of QUACK under his toe. He saw a duck.

"I overlooked the most obvious answer..." said Carter. "I am your father!"

Fran never found his ear. The government issued a search warrent and twenty billion dollars worth of tax-payers money have gone into the search of Carter's ear. Then duck was removed from underneath his nose and seventy cows had heart attacks last night. I bet you didn't know that!

Readmesoon, IllogiNews field reporter