IllogiNews:Master Chief is Actually a Girl

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

DATELINE: XBOX LIVE COMMUNITY

In a well-hidden secret Easter egg clip scene embedded in the recently released sci-fi first-person-shooter video game Halo 3, it is revealed that Master Chief, the main character of the series, is actually a girl. The realization sent shockwaves through the XBox Live Community. (which may soon get tax-exempt status after having evolved into a religion. All players go to heaven after they get pwn3d - thus the game is called Halo.)

"Is she really a girl? A real girl!?" asked Sarge from the popular web series Red Vs Blue. Though it is hard to believe, this easter egg reveals that it is true. Master Chief is actually a carbon copy of that one hot chick from Metriod who is basically Laura Croft in a space suit.

"The clip scene has caused the rating we've given this game to be changed from GG (Good Game) to VVVGGG, which stands for Very Very Very Graphic with Gobs of Gore," stated the head of the ABWBATGG (the Austrailian Board of We Ban All The Good Games) "and so the game is going to be banned in Austrailia. It will be pulled from store shelves, confiscated from all the elementary school students who aren't supposed to have it anyway but (mysteriously) do. Also, everybody who bought the Advanced Halo Freak With No Life Edition of the game is also going to have to return their giant Master Chief bobbleheads because it contains plastic parts that are too large for suicidal adults to choke on."

"Well, this just takes Hot Coffee down a notch, doesn't it?" said a representative from RockStar Games, creators of the infamous Grand Theft Auto series. "I mean, at least our contraversial Easter egg was cool."

Amidst all of this hubub, Master Chief now has to explore his her newfound feminimity. In future editions of the Halo franchise, Master Chief will be seen wearing bows and ribbons on her helmet and may possibly spraypaint a rainbow on her butt.

"I'm a cardboard caricature!" responded Homsar.

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