IllogiNews:Research reveals that Jesus was crucified on a Rubber Duck

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

The Christian world was shaken today when a historian discovered that Jesus was in fact not crucified on a wooden cross, as most people believed. It turns out that the Romans actually nailed Jesus to a giant rubber duck that was between 15 and 20 feet high, and bright yellow.

"Yes," says the historian, "Apparently the Romans decided to nail Jesus to the rubber duck because they ran out of wood just before crucifying him. So naturally, a rubber duck was the obvious conclusion. One Roman proposed nailing Jesus to a giant marsmallow, but the others laughed at him and said it was a silly idea."

How they managed to nail Jesus to the rubber duck without deflating it is a mystery. The historian theorizes that "it must have been very resilient rubber."

As of this moment, Christian churches worldwide are taking crosses down from their walls and replacing them with rubber ducks.

"It's odd to have to change the object that symbolizes our religion," says one priest, "But one thing's for sure: the Pope will look AWESOME with a rubber duck around his neck!!!!"