IllogiZoo:Sock monkeys
too bizarre for Uncyclopedia, but Illogicopedia loves random stuff. |
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| Sock Monkey | ||
|---|---|---|
| File:Raffles.jpg This is not a Sock Munkie. | ||
| Conservation Status | ||
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text-decoration:none; font-size:16pt; } </css> Endangered | ||
| Kingdom | Animalia | |
| Phylum | Chordata | |
| Class | Mammalia | |
| Order | Primates | |
| Family | Corkscrew | |
| Genus | Gorton's fish sticks | |
| Species | S. Munkie | |
| Weight | 0.3 - 0.8 kg. (avg) | |
| Length | 0.5 - 1.7 meters | |
| Binomial Name | ||
Sock Monkeys, or Sock Munkies as they like to call themselves, are closely related to the Sock-People but there are several differences between them. Sock Munkies are the more primitive of the two and unlike their cousins, Sock Munkies are all children of Dan Quayle whom they worship.
Jane Goodall once reported seeing “vicious Sock Monkeys beating a researcher to death before stealing his socks and letting out a fierce battle cry.” Jane Goodall died shortly after writing these words presumably murdered by a Sock Munkie due to the very simple fact that her socks were never found.
Sock MCLXXI of the Sock Munkie Tribe was said to be amongst those who were employed to re-type the entire works of Shakespeare. Upon returning to his tribe Sock MCLXXI became the new shaman of the tribe, replacing Sock MCLL. He has been rumoured to report directly to Dan Qualye and know the location of Osama bin Laden.
Very few biological facts about the Sock Munkies are known other than the fact that they once spawned from Dan Quayle. It is believed that their mating rituals are highly complex and involve rocking chairs, French fries and at least fourteen ninjas.