Jack Bauer

Star of the hit series '24,' Jack Bauer is a superhuman government employee sent from God himself to help fulfill biblical prophecy and tip the balance of power back in America's favor. He is the only man on earth who can claim to have single-handedly saved the world on more than six occasions, edging out Chuck Norris (6), Batman (4), Master Chief, who has now done it three times, Linda Tripp (2), the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2), Testostereich's goat (1.768) and Regis Philbin (1).

Superhuman Abilities

Being a direct descendent of the almighty Father, Bauer has been given several gifts he can utilize to help save the world every few days. These include, but are not limited to:

• The ability to travel across large cities in an SUV in a matter of seconds
• A brain that never needs to sleep, even without stimulant additives
• Faultless intuition
• Infinite ammo
• The ability to stop his own pulse

All of these powers combined allow him to be the ultimate terrorist-fighting machine.

Jack Bauer and CTU

The CTU (Counter-Terrorist Unit) often doubts Jack Bauer and his world-saving powers, but they fail to realize that he is capable of anything short of jumping directly into outer space to intercept an interstellar nuclear threat. These counter-terrorists have these doubts because they failed to purchase season 3 of 24 on DVD, where Jack clearly utilized all of his strengths to their maximum potential in order to thwart off the US-killing threat.