King Henry VIII

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King Henry VIII, a man of many chins.


Born in the city of Chernobyl, the capitol of Narnia, King Henry VIII ruled the wardrobe-nation from -100,000,000,000,012 B.C.E. to ++59 C.E.

As king he had a taste for fine women, but had trouble getting hold of them. Asda were all out of stock when he called by, and the goods at Tesco looked like someone had been sick on them. Eventually, giving up, he headed off to a nearby off license to get some pistachios and a copy of Nuts!. On his way out he saw the women aisle and picked himself up a 6 pack, cementing his place in history as winner of the 1527 "top bloke award".

Fight for Control of Narnia

The kingdom of Narnia (his constituency) was famously plagued by talking lions, something he had promised to put a stop to as part of his election campaign. Making good on his word he sent his sister, the White Witch, to defeat the self-proclaimed Lion King and lay waste to his minions. However after mere hours his plans were thwarted by the appearance of Smokey the Bear at the battle of Abrigos de Fuego (Genital Warts).

Discouraged by the occurances of the battle, he called his troops to retreat. They succesfully held their lines for the rest of the war, eventually reaching an armastice with the lions.

Aftermath

With the breakout of riots in the the capitol city of Chernobyl King Henry VIII realized the people were not fond of having him as king anymore. So he picked out an ugly boy in the crowd he was giving a speech to and proclaimed "this is my successor!".

The boys name was Mr. Sauhgnidab (german for sissy man). He made the nation prosporous with a series of economical campaigns known as Operation Sitzplinker. The lion problem was dealt with and Narnia prospers to this day.