Legumes
“My mother once tried to explain where my crayons are, but I know they are buried by now. ”
- "Well my dear Gofaf, it would appear his liver is inside of him," Doctor Gizzard told the nurses.
- "WHAT A TRAGEDY!" They all screamed in horror.
THIRTEEN YEARS EARLIER:
A legume named Fardidlas was on a cruise. Fardidlas was an average legume, but he didn't want to be any part of the scrambles occurring below. Most legumes enjoy scrambles, especially scrambles that go on below. Then, Fardidlas put a liver in a guy? Many times before had Fardidlas gone on cruises. He did this because he knew no more elephants that would enjoy is presence.
THIRTEEN MINUTES EARLIER:
The Legume, Fardidlas was in the African Savannah hunting worms. The Savannah was the home of all the most dangerous worms in the world... There was the Sparklefoot which could spank you until it was no longer a worm, but an apple which wanted to be on you.
I once had a relationship with an apple.
Fardidlas was emerging from the tall grass when he saw Sparklefoot... Sparkle foot brought down its mighty antlers upon the poor legume, and soon Fardidlas was trapped. He said, "Oh goshness!" "I'm gonna eat your ears," Said Sparklefoot menacingly. "NOT SO FAST!" And with that, Fardidlas whipped out a vacuum and cleaned up the surrounding area and Sparklefoot's act!
- That's a good pun!
- What pun fool??
- The one about cleaning up a person's act
- What you talkin' 'bout?! It's a worm, fool!
- Whatever, cucumber face
- That's a lame comeback! Try harder!
- You YUCKIFIED CORNMEAL!
- You suck
AND THEN:
Fardidlas hit the worm's toes, which didn't exist! So then the worm was sucked into a worm hole!
- Pa-sha! Great pun!
- Im'a gonna kill you, punk!
So the worm was killed. Then, Fardidlas continued until he was grabbed by an elephant! The elephant brought him to his camp. Helplessly, Fardidlas tried and tried to escape! But the elephant was too strong. After hours of riding on an elephant, Fardidlas arrived at the Elephant's lair. There were several elephants preparing some kinda ritual. Then Fardidlas was knocked unconscious by a rock!
He awoke in a cell, tied up... and he yelled for help. Several big muscular elephants came by and grabbed him. The led him out of the prison, and onto a big platform. There were hundreds of elephants around, cheering.
- "ookba Shalla Nipple woms Nipple woms!" They chanted together.
Fardidlas turned around and saw a peanut in his same situation. Tied up, and being led to a fire. The peanut was propped up over the fire and began to cook. Minutes later, several elephants began to eat the peanut.
- "They're eating it! Then they're gonna eat me. Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Fardidlas yelled. Just then, he realized he wasn't tied up, so he instead ran away.
- The elephants shouted after him, "WE DON'T LIKE YOU! GO ON CRUISES BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU!"
And that is why we have livers.